Bolusing for Two!

I'm not sure I've ever mentioned that, before I was diagnosed with diabetes, my husband and I had been trying for a baby for over a year.  Not like, counting cycle days and taking my temperature to catch the moment I ovulate then calling my husband home for emergency baby-making, but we weren't preventing... and, being a little older than most first-time parents, I was starting to wonder if it wasn't time to start "really really trying" when I discovered we had to stop until I had my blood sugar under control.  Not an easy thing to be told.

And then, about a month and a half ago, my endo told me it was safe to start trying again.

Well, my body apparently agreed with her!

Friday, I was sitting at my desk at work with a pile of tissues and couple boxes of cold meds when I thought, "You know, I was supposed to start my period yesterday."  It's not so weird for my period to be late once in a while, but I realized that I was about to pop more cold meds when it was possible I could be pregnant...  So I decided I'd pick up a pregnancy test during lunch just to make sure everything was cool before I took my afternoon dose.

It was funny, sitting there eating my lunch in my car with a pregnancy test sitting on the seat next to me.  I hadn't picked it up because I thought I was pregnant, rather because I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to pickle a baby with cold meds, but it still gave me some of that giddy nervousness.  "I totally could be," I thought several times.  "It... feels like I could be."

But that still didn't mean I expected to see two lines begin to form almost instantly! I stood in the bathroom with my hands covering my mouth as the "result" window began to color even before the "control" window was touched.  "Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap!!!"

I made myself stop watching it until the two minute mark, then began my "holy crap" chant all over again.

I mean, HOLY CRAP, guys!!!

I held it in all afternoon, tempted to call my mom or post to a message board... but I couldn't until I told Chad, and I had to tell him in person!  So once I was home, he got an early Christmas gift and we were soon on the phone with our families.

Things I've observed so far:

• I don't "feel pregnant," yet I do.  I think there was a tiny little part of me that already knew.
• I'm excited... But others seem to be more excited for me! My theory is that this is because they aren't the ones who are going to swell up over the next 36 weeks then spend many painful hours squeezing out a baby that's going to change everything forever!  (It's all going to be worth it, but let's face it, there's also plenty to be scared of and it's only Chad and me who have to face the scary parts.)
• Girls squeal.  :)
• Though I don't get to enjoy the quirkiness of pregnancy yet (the belly, the cravings, the "glow"), I do get to "enjoy" all of the restrictions!  I have a cold and am on no cold meds (real Sudafed is supposed to be safe, but isn't recommended this early).  I'm developing a cold sore, but I'll just be picking up some lemon balm chapstick for that (it looks like Abreva and a couple oral meds are "category B," but I see enough discouragement online that I'd want to ask my OB first).
• People like to joke about alcohol, tell you not to drink alcohol, or say it's so said you can't drink alcohol.  I just wish they'd stop talking about alcohol!  (Not because it makes me miss alcohol, but because it pisses me off that even those "jokes" are basically telling me what to do instead of assuming I'm an intelligent enough woman to make my own sound decision based on medical research.)
• So far, I haven't run into any, "Are you going to die like in Steel Magnolias?!" or, "Your baby is going to be HUGE!" or, "Diabetic women shouldn't get pregnant!"  One friend asked if pregnancy might improve my diabetes, and my grandmother-in-law simply asked how it would affect things, and then asked if the baby would get it since I have it (a valid question, to which I said the baby couldn't catch it from me, but that there would be a small chance [1/100, in our case] of developing it later since it's genetic).  But from everything I've read, I probably will run into some of the more fearful comments.  I won't let it get to me, and I'll educate anyone who seems to be saying it out of concern but blow off anyone who seems to be saying it as a criticism.

So far, I'm most frustrated with blood sugar spikes.  I have to get those down, which means avoiding problem foods (why the hell did I eat that piece of delivery pizza?!?!?!) and giving myself plenty of time between the food bolus and eating.  I'll be making appointments with my doctors tomorrow, so I'm sure my endo will either have some more detailed advice or refer me to the CDE who specializes in pregnancy at her hospital.  I know the target numbers for pregnant women tend to be pretty low (I read in Balancing Pregnancy with Pre-Existing Diabetes that a common goal is no higher than 120 an hour after eating!!!), so I've gone ahead and reduced my overall target number a little bit...  It seems like a good start.

OMG guys, this is going to be wild!

(And, for the record, I really think I wasn't getting pregnant before because my body knew it wasn't healthy enough!)