One aspect of pregnancy that I'm finding a little bit challenging to balance so far is the food. I try and eat mostly healthy food that treats my blood glucose well, but I also think there's no problem with a little indulgence (pregnant or not, diabetic or not). If I were pregnant and not diabetic, I'd just treat myself while making sure I don't overdo the "eating for two" thing. But when that giant cookie is staring me down in the store, even if I've been very good all day, I have to take pause and wonder, what will it do to my blood sugar? Is it OK if I'm a little out of range a little of the time, or am I a bad mother if I don't make every possible effort to stay in range, such as passing on every cookie I see? And if I can tell I'm just going to "have to" eat a baked goodie that day and I know it's better to have that cookie (which also happens to be organic and vegan) than get back to the office and end up eating a damn donut or two or three or ten, can I time my insulin just right to avoid the spike?
In that particular instance, I got the cookie, bolused for half of it and gave the insulin a few minutes to get in my system... then got weak and ate all the cookie and bolused for the rest with what turned out to be miraculously perfect blood sugar results later! (That could certainly be a fluke, but I'm thinking of stocking up on a few of those for the next time I have an uncontrollable urge to eat a giant cookie!)
On the other hand, I gave into a craving for popcorn shrimp last night and, because a combo bolus hadn't worked for them at all once before, I did a regular bolus. This sent me a little low, then higher than I felt at all comfortable with during pregnancy. Cue rage bolus, which happened to slowly bring me back down into range and hold me there.
Balance is so important. I need to keep my blood glucose down, but that doesn't mean never indulging. It means, rather, that I have to find the indulgences that don't destroy my efforts. Big fraking vegan cookie containing more carbs than I typically consume in an entire meal? Win. Reasonably sized plate of popcorn shrimp? Lose. Duly noted.
On an only vaguely related note, I'm having to correct a couple bad habits like not bolusing before I disconnect from my pump in the morning. My evening basal rates are so low that disconnecting doesn't seem to make an ounce of difference, but my morning basal rates are almost 4 times higher. If I take my shower in the morning, my BG goes up. It always has. My endo recommended I bolus before a morning shower, but even then I only gave myself a tiny bolus and corrected the difference later for fear of going low in the shower. But now that my range is so much tighter, I can't afford to slack on the bolus. It's either that or shower while connected, which I've never liked at all. Bolus it is.