Despite having a lot of insecurities, I also tend to be very proud of the things I do well. Just recently, I got into a very comfortable, pleased-with-myself state of mind regarding my diabetes care. I do this stuff really well. Not only was I on top of things, but I significantly improved my morning numbers by myself, through two morning fasts and two basal adjustments. I was coasting for a couple of weeks on numbers that never seemed to rise much above 140. Things were... too good to last. :(
Yep, that's a 286 staring back at me. The past week, maybe two, have sucked. That's the second 200+ number I've had, and possibly the highest number I've had since starting intensive insulin therapy (certainly the highest since they got my initial ratios close to what I needed).
What the hell?! Things have been running generally higher, as they always tend to when hormones change at about the middle of my cycle, but worse than usual this time... and the past couple of days have gotten even worse... then a 286 for this morning for the exact same breakfast and bolus that went over perfectly yesterday morning?! And I thought, hmm, maybe it's the infusion set or site, but no! Everything appears fine, and my correction bolus is bringing my BG down at a rate that I would expect. Bad insulin? Well, it seems to work just fine on correction boluses, and I've had a couple mealtime boluses with perfect results... but I may try a new batch if things continue to look bad.
I may uncover some underlying reason, but until I figure it out, I'm just using a stronger basal dose and watching Dexcom like a hawk... and believing my fellow D bloggers more and more when they say things like, "Sometimes, this disease just makes no sense."
On a related note, while waiting for my BG of just over 200 to come down last night, I was talking to my husband about having read that a lot of PWDs tend to have some control issues, maybe even some OCD. I totally get that now. If I'd grown up putting so much importance in a number on a screen multiple times a day, feeling like that number is a pass or a fail, I'd probably have some sort of control issue, too.