Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I Choose to Fight

Three weeks ago, I thought I was a pretty normal, healthy person.  I didn't have a lot of energy, but I was starting to exercise and was determined to create habits that would let me live a long, healthy life.  I wasn't afraid.

Now, have a chronic disease with some serious potential complications... including heart disease.

I feel... changed.  Diabetes is very manageable (thank god!), but its very real dangers has made me... mortal.  And I am afraid.

I visited my doctor yesterday, for the first time since I got this diagnosis.  She told me, "You're really doing great, you're doing everything you need to do.  I see a lot of people run and hide from something like this."

But the truth is, I'm just much more afraid of the complications than I am of the treatment and day-to-day concerns.  I was faced with a fight or flight scenario, and I chose to fight.

I'm scared, but I think it's a healthy fear.  That fear is making me follow my Diabetic Educator's every direction, eat a healthier diet, and look forward to the green light to exercise.

The fact is that diabetes is faster than you.  If you run, it will catch up with you, and it will take you down from behind.  But face it head-on, and you have the advantage.  You can see and respond to its every move, and you can stay on your feet.

I'm scared, but that's why I choose to fight.

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