Thursday, July 1, 2010

A Need to Return to Normalcy

Long time no post, but I've been a wee bit busy.  I'm sitting in a new house full of cardboard boxes.

Also, I went through a dark patch there.  I was very, very down about life, including diabetes.  Not that I'm totally over that, but I feel a little more in control again.  And I want to get back to blogging, but I feel bogged down by everything I want to say when I do...  So, I'll just type.

Moving plus my period did a number on my blood sugars.  I had a lows four days in a row, including a 40!!!  So today begins a slightly new routine with the Lantus ("basal" or long-acting insulin):  A smaller shot every 12 hours, instead of a larger one every 24 hours.  My educator thinks it'll help prevent my evening numbers from going so low.

The honest truth is that this has been trickier than I thought.  I wasn't going to have crazy lows like all those other diabetes bloggers!  I wasn't going to have mystery blood sugar numbers that logically shouldn't have occurred!  But alas, I am no VIP to diabetes.

I think one of the most important things I can do for myself right now is take control of my life.  I may not have perfect control of my diabetes yet (it'll improve, though it will probably never be "perfect"), but maybe I can take control of other areas.  For various reasons, I've felt like a passenger in the process of finding, moving into, and buying this new house.  I need to make it mine.  My job is not where I want to be.  I need to make the best of it for the moment while taking steps toward where I do want to be.

Some other areas aren't as easy.  Diabetes has its claws in my diet and, to some extent, my physical activity.  This is necessary, at least in these early stages when we're still "figuring it out."  But I have to say that the psychological effect that has on me is very negative.  The first month, no problem, I was surviving.  Now, I need to start living.  I need to reclaim these areas to the extent that I can.  I'm eating more fruit again, for example, which I avoided at the beginning simply because I wanted labels and things I could measure.  But now I'm branching out and letting myself use my best judgment on portions/carbs.  Exercise?  Well, moving certainly was exercise.  Unpacking is too, as far as my blood sugar numbers are concerned.  After all this is winds down, I'm going to go do the exercise I always enjoyed most, damn it!!!  If I have to do shorter or lighter sessions, so be it, but I'm tired of being scared to walk-run on the treadmill or go to my favorite yoga class.  I'll be extra cautious, but I need to return to a little normalcy.

Phew!  There's my lunchtime post.  Back to work!


  1. Hi, I found your blog through twitter and have been reading several of your posts. I think its easier for kids to adjust to finding out about being type 1 than it is for adults. My granddaughter was diagnosed in Dec 2009 after a scary trip to the emergency room. Her sugar was 589 when they first checked it there. She was then transported to the childrens hospital by ambulance. She is doing very well now but still has her ups and downs with her numbers. She gives herself 2 of her 4 shots a day. She does everything a normal kids does including swimming she just has to have a snack first to boost the sugar to keep it from dropping too much. Do you have the calorie king book/ website? its very helpful for figuring carbs that sometimes are hard to measure and has counts for many restaurants.

  2. Skye, thanks for your comment and encouragement. Yes, I do have Calorie King! Both the book, and a bookmark to the site on my iPhone. It's been very helpful.

    I'm glad you hear your granddaughter has adjusted so well. It's so encouraging to hear about people who live a normal life with diabetes.