Things can't be all doom and gloom!

I have in my hands a wonderful, wonderful thing.


Lab results... Showing my cholesterol significantly improved!

You can't imagine the relief this brings... And the motivation to start taking an active roll in improving my cholesterol!  When my results were so terrible and my GP doctor was telling me that she's never known a diabetic who could get their cholesterol to the levels where they really needed to be on their own, I felt helpless.  Fine, nothing I can do will fix this.  Just give me more medicine, and then more medicine (hormonal birth control) because of that medicine, and then I'll take more insulin because of that medicine!!!  Just whip up a medical cocktail in my bloodstream and kill every delusion I have about control over my body and fate...

But not now!  Bringing down my blood sugar alone brought me to an "OK" level, according to my endo: 170 (down from 238) overall.  My lab results say that below 100 is desirable for diabetics.  I don't know a whole lot about cholesterol, but it doesn't seem unreasonable that I might be able to achieve that through improved diet and exercise.  My GP also said that she wants my HDL ("good" cholesterol) up to at least 70, and it's already improved from 36 to 60.  Again, by replacing bad fats with good fats and getting my self-pitying butt off the couch?  I think I might be able to get to 70!!!

Maybe I'll need cholesterol meds some day, but I don't think today is that day.  Now that my numbers are "OK," I don't feel like my heart is a ticking time bomb anymore.  I just feel like someone who needs to eat better and exercise... which was true before any of this ever came to light.

My current plan:

• Exercise at least 2 times a week, preferably 3... Even if it's just a walk around the block, DO IT!
• Do a better job of avoiding trans fats and excess saturated fat. (Please ignore the Burger King chicken sandwich wrapper on the coffee table!  That... that was for my cat!  I swear!)
• Lose 10 pounds.  Not only does weight loss improve cholesterol, but 10 pounds would put me back into the range where I just feel better!

Now, I'm going to go get dressed for yoga class!!!

Where the hell am I, and how did I get here from there?!

I didn't really know how to expect my treatment to affect my life when I first found out.  Actually, I still don't fully know.  But one thing stood out to me immediately: We had to stop trying for a baby.

We'd been trying for a while, though I wasn't to the point of obsessing, charting my cycle, and calling my husband to meet me at home during lunch because my temperature just jumped half a degree.  But still, we're ready to start a family.

And now I'm on birth control.

You can have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby as a diabetic, but you have to get your blood sugar under control to make it happen.  Plus, I have one other factor to consider:  Like many diabetics, I also have very high cholesterol.

Actually, high cholesterol doesn't affect pregnancy much.  But when my doctor said I'd have to start cholesterol medication but that she understood if I was too overwhelmed to start right away, I decided that the more overwhelming prospect was to not do everything possible to get my health under control...  Get my cholesterol down, please!

But I also told her that I want to have a baby as soon as I'm healthy enough to do so, and she explained that I absolutely must not become pregnant on cholesterol meds.  She clearly felt that hormonal was the best stand-alone method, and in fact insisted that condoms alone were "not good enough," considering the risks.  So we discussed options and I left with a pack of Crestor samples, a prescription for NuvaRing, and a promise that she had no worries about me stopping both once my blood sugars are normal and stable enough for pregnancy.  Oh, but not until I got the scary "worst-case side effects of cholesterol meds" warning about cramping muscles.  Even though I know the serious side effects are rare, it still scared the crap out of me.

And reading the NuvaRing information before starting it today, all those warning sections were scaring me all over again.  Diabetics with certain complications (none of which I have, most likely) were listed under "who shouldn't use this product," and Diabetes in general was under the list of conditions that indicate a need to discuss NuvaRing with your doctor (which I already did, of course).  Scary, scary, scary.

And here's hoping that this hormonal birth control doesn't throw a wrench in the gears of my improving blood sugar (it can raise it), and that it doesn't make me crazy depressed (the pill did).  But I was the one who mentioned NuvaRing as a specific option, because I've been told before that it has the lowest dose of any of the current hormonal birth controls.  I'm hoping that will mean fewer side effects, as a previous doctor suggested to me.

So there you have it.  I originally went to the doctor about cracks at the corners of my mouth, and now I'm on insulin and birth control and will soon be starting statins... all of which are a little scary for me.  This is a topic to be fleshed out in another post, but I'll just say: All of this has me praying for the first time in years.